✨✨ A team of mentally and physically disabled folks in San Diego sticker every condom and tin to perfection (need dope fulfillment support? check out The Arc of San Diego)
✨✨ Our condom fairies package and ship your order from our HQ in the sun! Where we work from swing sets and eat vegan cookies (and kick lots of patriarchal ass)
✨✨ A discreet envelope from a code name (lol, try to guess it) arrives at your door. It’s not covered in glitter (it’s DISCREET), but it’s insides are sparkly, just like yours
✨✨ You enjoy your power and pleasure in a whole new way ~ with gorgeous, all natural protection ~ and a FREE GIFT from us (see that sweet door banner? and the gift card? yeah, those are for you too)
✨✨ That’s not it! We donate one condom to Planned Parenthood in your honor!
Want to know more about our happy production process or feel good ingredients? Shoot me an email: email@example.com. Informed customers get a discount 😉